I still love him.
But I don’t want to love him anymore.
I don’t want to hurt anymore.
Please help me forget.
Please help me to let it go.
Please help me let him go.
“I don’t want to lose you.’ His voice almost a whisper. Seeing his haggard expression, she took his hand and squeezed it, then reluctantly let it go. She could feel the tears again, and she fought them back. ‘But you don’t want to keep me, either, do you?’ To that, he had no response.”
I hope someday you will find an old picture of me and you will wonder if I still love deep fried battered quail eggs more than life itself or if I still cannot finish a glass of coke whenever I am eating outside and maybe you will even wonder if I wonder about you.
It felt like a dream. Like the ones that stay with you even after you wake up. You don’t have to try to remember them. They’re just there.
Lingering in your mind like an incessant thought. And yet, fragments are missing like broken glass so uneasy to find. The pieces you have though are as sharp as reality, and cuts through your sanest notion of what was real or not.
When I close my eyes, I can see her. Hair as black as the night, on her skin so fair and white as porcelain. Lips as red as blood on paper, daunting. Eyes that can pierce through the heart of any man. Deep and dark as obsidian. All cradled atop a body, petite and lovely.
That moved as elegant as the wind on a field of poppy.
The light was dim, and gave the night an air of uncertainty of what could happen. No one else saw the hands in the darkness feeling for a touch. A slight touch on the waist. A feel of bare skin. Then a sudden shudder and heavy breathing.
She gave a respond to every touch. Never hinting that it was too much.
I know you’ve lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly,unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant — you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you. Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow is another day. That the sun will go on shining. Or there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I will tell you this; it’s okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not completely valid but necessary — because it makes you so much more human. And though I can’t promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will — eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need.